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Shockabuku High School-
A spoof-By Oni-chan
What would it have been like if the Shockabuku crew went to High School together? No need to be afraid.
Setting:The Typical Highschool.
SMACK!
The ruler cracked down on Shinigami's knuckles.
"Pay attetion please" his instructor grumbled.
Shini rubbed his sore hand grudgeingly.
"Sorry, Sir." he mumbled, turning a bit red.
Someone nearby snickered at the speckticle. He turned to face Kitty, who sat behind him.
"Shut up, will ya?"
"Bite me."
"Shinigami! Mrs. Berlow! This is NOT a social hour!" the teacher boomed again.
"Yes, sir." they chimed in together.
"Mrs. Karr, would you please explain the next problem?"
"Yes, Sir." Trinity rattled off an equation that left everybody, includeing the teacher in the dust.
"Um...thank you. Mrs. Madoc, will you give your...interpritation?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't have to."
"Oh, come on Sim, Just answer the question!" Trin proded her cousin.
"I KNOW! I KNOW!" Mika practically fell out of her chair.
"Yes Mrs. Magami?"
"Three!"
"Thank you. Now, Moveing on..."
***
"Are you going to eat all of that?!" the girls gaped at Hiiro's lunch.
"Of course." He smiled.
"Pitiful mortal!" Lex screeched.
"She's right...for once." Kitty smirked, pushing the psycho out of her chair and takeing it from her. "You're a pig."
Hiiro just shrugged and continued to eat. Just then Trinity came over and sat down next to him. Sim was right behind her.
"Where have you two been?" Shinwa looked up from his own lunch.
"Saveing the ecosystem!" Trin anounced excitedly.
"As if she wasn't already class president, a straight A student and a member of every club you can think of."
"We were gathering signatures on a petition to save some oil soaked ducks...or...something..." Simoriah filled them in.
"Oh." he nodded, loseing intrest.
"I can understand Trin doing this kind of work but Sim?" Lucas frowned.
"It works like this," Kit spoke up "Trin finds someone, and asks them nicely to sign her peice of paper. If they won't, Sim threatens their livelyhood until they do."
"It works." Oni shrugged, stealing one of Hiiro's frenchfries.
"Buy your own, will ya?!" he protested.
"Why should I? You're so nice and crap."
"Bitch."
"Boy don't lie." she winked and waved to a guy who was walking by.
"Oh God Sim, Don't..." Trin hissed in her ear.
"How's it going, woman?" Jake sat down. Everyone moved a seat away.
"Usual, and I have a name, Damnit!"
"I know, woman."
"Goat Fucker."
he smiled. "You know it baby."
"Oh, look!" Trin pointed excitedly "A brick wall! Why don't you go see if you can walk through it?"
"Nice to see you too, blondie." he nodded.
"I hate him. I hate him." she continued to mumble under her breath. "His damn dog pissed on me..."
"HI!" Mika came up.
"Whoa, gotta go!" Jake stood up and Mika took his place.
"See ya!" Hiiro waved. Trin gave him a dirty look. He gave a sheepish grin.
"I love you, platipus tush."
"Awwww." she forgave him instantly and kissed him.
"Get a room, will ya?" Kit gaged.
The class bell rang.
***
"OW!" Simoriah yelled as Shinigami ran into her. "Watch it!" she bent down to pick up her books.
Trin was unmoved. She continued to discuss their latest History Lesson.
"There you are!" Lex ran in front of Shini.
"Yeah?" he glanced at her.
"You sack of rotting animal flesh!"
"Hi sweetie." he mocked.
She clawed the side of his face and walked away."When I ocnquer this waste dump you shall be the first to fall to the might of my minions!"
An anoying laugh sounded in the hallway. Sim was rolling on the ground.
"I love it!" she gasped.
"Shut up." Shini wiped the blood away from the scratches.
"Ah, can ya blame her? You're a pretty sorry excuse for a man."
He didn't say anything, just turned and walked away.
"Uncool, Sim." Kitty looked uncomfortable.
"Really." Mika agreed.
She shrugged.
"GO apologize, you dip!" Hiiro pushed her towards Shini's direction.
***
"Don't walk away from me, you jerk!" Sim ran to catch up.
"Leave me alone." Shini snarled at her.
She grabbed his arm, much to his astonishment.
"I'm trying to say I'm sorry." she continued, unfazed..
He cocked his head to one side, confused.
"Fine." he snatched his arm back. She gave him a smug look.
"You and Lex history?"
"What's it to ya?"
"Nuttin'. I'm the cat curiosity killed."
"Yeah we are. " he started to walk away.
She ran after him again.
"You may not realize this, but I'm trying to make friends in my own freaky way."
"Good for you."
"Ass hole."
"You busy Saturday?"
"Excuse me?"
"You heard right."
"No..."
"I'll pick you up at seven." he sauntered off.
"YOu're not going to keep the date are you?" Trin ran up.
"Oh, I like him." Sim smiled "Forceful."
"He's the GOD OF DEATH!"
"So?"
Trin smacked her forehead.
"Hopeless. She's completely hopeless."
***
"Like you should talk. You're always 'out' with the 'girls'." Luke spat at Kit.
"FAG!" she retaliated.
"LESBIAN!"
"YOU WEAR A SPEEDO!"
"Didn't need to know that." Sim flinched as she walked by and took her seat next to the brunette.
"Can I kill him? Pleeeeeeese?" Andrea pulled an oak stake, sharpened to a fine point, out of her bookbag.
"Ah, I see study hall is the norm." Lucas took control.
"AUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"
"What the-" Simoriah frowned and slid her feet off the tabletop.
A defrazled Trinity had colapsed in the doorway. She was holding a peice of paper-a report card-which ment one thing. She had failed Culinary arts. AGAIN.
Andrea snatched the paper from her and read it off.
"LATIN-100%-A,CALCULUS-100%-A,PHYSIOLOGY-100%-A,CULINARY ARTS-3%-F" she supressed a smile "And a note from the teacher-Stay away from the stove you stupid freak. It'll take me a month to pass that bite of your meatloaf. In your hands a pound cake is a leathal wepon only comparible to the atomic bomb."
"So. You can't cook." Kit shrugged. "Whooptie-do."
"WAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Ah, hell look. Just marry well and hire a cook." Sim suggested. "Oh. That kinda ryhmes..."
"And I supose that's what you plan to do?" D sat down and took Andrea's hand.
"Nope. I plan to marry a rich old fart with one foot in the grave. He keels over during the honeymoon, hopefuly before we reach the hotel, asumeing, of course he's already sighned his last will and testiment, leaveing everything to me- and Bada-bing, Bada-boom. I'm one f***in' rich widow, free to live in sin with my austrian personal trainer-'Fernado'."
"You've thought WAY to much about this." Kit raised an eyebrow.
"You are truely disturbing." D nodded.
She shrugged nochilantly and moved over for Jake to sit down. He wispered something in her ear as she handed him a lighter and a small jar of cerosine.
"Thanks, woman." he grined and headed for the faculty lounge.
"Damn dog pissed on me..." Trin mumbled between sobs.
"It was all in good fun." he called from the hall.
Trin glared at her cousin.
"What can I say? I like the crazy ones." She smiled nervously.
Death glare.
"3%"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Shit! Now I'll never get to stay in Golf Club!"
Everyone stared at D who cleared his throat and calmly put his report card away.
"I made straight A's." Lucas offered.
Kit smacked him.
"I did too." Sim grinned.
"I'll believe it when I see it." Kit snatched the paper from her. "Gym...Woodshop...these are all...nevermind. I should have known."
"Hey, I'm proud of that A in woodshop! I built a bazooka out of toothpicks in there!"
"Toothpicks?"
"Yeah. Mr. Capone barely trusts me with glue ever since I told him the story of 'Old Stumpy'."
"Don't blame him. If you ever lost control with one of those whirleing blades his ass is Fired."
"And he wouldn't have a leg to stand on." Lucas punned.
"Well, at least she didn't fail cooking." Andrea tried to look on the bright side.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Opps. Sorry..." the hunter tried to comfort her freind.
***
"I hate mondays." Kit frowned sourly and tied on her apron.
Sim hummed plesantly and poked a bag of flour with her finger.
"I've done it! It's perfect!" Trinity cheered.
"Cool...is it supposed to be black?" Andrea scrunched her nose.
"Mabey you cooked it too long." Kit suggested.
"I HAVEN'T COOKED IT AT ALL!"
"Oooo." all three of the girls turned around on their stools to hide their expressions.
"Now I'm sure your...um...chiken will be delicious! It's cajin!" Mika smiled.
"It's bannana bread."
"Okay, I fake a heart attack and while Trin is distracted you throw it in the-" Kit stopped wispering and grinned at Trin who had begun to listen in on the conversation.
"I can't figure out what she did wrong." Mika looked over the recipe. "What do you guys think?"
"I think she's curesed." Kit answered truthfully.
"I'd have to go with Kitty." Andrea agreed.
"Do you feel that way too, Sim?" Trin pout her hands on her hips, with attitude.
"I finished my homework Mom. I swear." she continued to smile.
"What's with her?" Drea cocked her head to one side.
"Wait! I saw this in my pre-med book!" Trin knelt to examin her. "Yes....Dialated pupil...slow response time...unfocused...either she ate tainted beef or got laid."
"What exactly did you do this weekend?"
"That's between me, that guy, and his video camera."
"Ewwwwwwwwww."
***
"WHOYA-WHOYA-WHOYA! WHODDYA THINK YOU ARE?!" a cluster of cheerleaders shouted into the crowd gathered on the bleechers.
"STUPID!" The entire shock gang shouted in unison.
"AAAAAAH YOU THINK YOU'RE BAD!"
"AAAAAAH WE KNOW WE'RE BAD!" the rest of the students responded.
Trin looked over her shoulder at Sim who if her tail had been intact, it would have been twitching back and forth like an angry cat's.
"I am bad." she muttered, crossing her arms.
"AAAAAAH YOU THINK YOU'RE WICKED!"
"AAAAAAH WE KNOW WE'RE WICKED!"
"I'm more wicked than any of you weaklings will ever be."
"AAAAAAH YOU THINK YOU'RE SEXY!"
"AAAAAAH WE KNOW WE'RE SEXY!"
"The F**k you are!"
Trin and Kitty jumped on her to prevent a mass murder.
"WHO-PA! WHO-PA!" the entire school body linked arms and marched, all the while chanting.
"Kill me now." Shinwa stood emotionless.
"Better yet, let's kill them." Jake pointed out.
"Get off me, already. I'm under control now." Sim begged Kit and Trin.
They got off cautiously. She brushed herself off and crossed her arms.
"YEAAAAH!" Andrea bounced up and down at the end of the row, totally in her element.
"She will die." Lucas narrowed his eyes.
D'artanion casually stepped between them protectively.
"Oh, God! No!" Trin grabbed Hiiro's arm for comfort. "They can't take this kind of stress!"
The rythum of the chant began and everyone was stomping with it...bum bum bum bum bum...
"BAIL!" Kitty shouted, jumping off the side of the bleechers as they crashed to the ground with everyone in them.
"I knew it! I knew it!" Simoriah jumped up out of the mess "We tried to tell you! We did! We did!" she was getting in the principle's face. "We all knew they were going to give one day, but did you listen? Noooooo."
***
"But I didn't do it!!"
The principle gave Sim a skeptic look.
"And I supose none of you had anything to do with it either?" he looked down the row.
Trinity, Kitty, Shinigami, Mika, Lucas and Jake shook their heads.
"Why should I beleive that?"
"Excuse me," Mika raised her hand "But if we were going to do something like that, and we wouldn't, do you think we'd be in the bleachers we knew were going to colapse?"
"Good one!" Shinigami patted her shoulder. "You can stand by me."
"You could have been trying to make it look like you knew nothing about it."
"And endager our lives instead?"
"Yep."
"But we didn't!" Trin exclaimed "I'm a good kid! I don't belong in here!"
"Sorry, Mrs. Karr. You should keep better company. Apple never falls far from the tree."
The blonde sputtered indignantly as he sat down behind his desk.
***
"Girr."
"I'm sorry, Sim." Kitty patted her shoulder.
"I can't beleive he let your guys off the hook when you started crying."
"Yeah, I'll have to remeber that one." Lucas giggled.
"Sure. Do that. While I'm being punished."
"What is your punishment?"
"Jake has to help the janitors clean every day. Shini has to serve three weeks of detention."
"What about you?"
She leaned over and wispered in her ear.
"SHIT!"
***
"You'd think they'd have learned their lesseon last week." Shinwa tested the new blechers carefully before sitting down.
"The same people who wanted to expell us because we were the only ones with enough sense to not stomp on the old rickety bleechers?" Shini sneered.
"Oh, yeah."
"Where's Sim?" Jake sat down next to Shini.
"Oh, she's around." Kitty tried to supress a laugh.
The usual began. Screaming. Cheering. Stupidity. Then it was time for everyone's favorite part-the school mascot "Dicky the Lobster."
"Is it just me, or is Dicky shrunk a little since last Friday?" Hiiro observed.
"Oh no. They didn't." Trinity covered her mouth."Surely they wouldn't."
"They did!" Kitty clapped at the speckticle.
"Shhhh!" Lucas pulled out a video recorder "I don't want to miss Dicky's interpretive dance to the Alma Mater."
*OWARI*
[Me and my people have been forced to participate in a pep rally or two. They SUCK. They are an insult to all common decency and reason. We're forced to waste our time, ascting like complete NIMRODS and for what? A football game! Anyway, we're all convinced that one day the bleachers will give and we'll all die. Thank You.]
Shock High Continued!
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